Thwart A Rebellion - a short play by Lee Bob Black

REBECCA: What can I do to make you want to make love to me more often?

SAUL: Nothing.

REBECCA: There must be something.

SAUL: Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. I’m not that sexual. You know this, we talked about this.

REBECCA: I’m getting a little frustrated.

SAUL: I’ve always had a relatively low sex drive.

REBECCA: Well mine’s high.

SAUL: I know this.

REBECCA: We’ve talked about this.

SAUL: We’ve talked about this, yes we have.

REBECCA: My guess is that you’ve mostly had girlfriends with high sex drives.

SAUL: Always. I’ve never had a girlfriend whose sex drive matches mine.

REBECCA: You mean, is as low as yours.

SAUL: Exactly. It’s weird.

REBECCA: You won’t make love to me, and all you can say is it’s weird?

SAUL: It’s many things. It’s many, many things.

REBECCA: You can say that again.

SAUL: I’ve already said it again. We’ve talked about this.

REBECCA: You always say that. You unfailingly remind me that we’ve talked about things. You say that like all we need to do is talk about each topic once and no more discussion is necessary. How about the art of conversation?

SAUL: We converse.

REBECCA: No we don’t. Most of the time you just sit there. You don’t speak your mind, don’t share yourself.

SAUL: You want to talk, and I want to let you talk. I’m a great listener. You’ve got to give me that. Nobody listens like yours truly. And nobody talks like you. So we complement each other superbly.

REBECCA: You rarely ever compliment me.

SAUL: No, we complement each other. We fit well together.

REBECCA: Except the sex.

SAUL: Well, if you didn’t need so many sex hits . . . .

REBECCA: Many? I only want it every few days.

SAUL: Every few days? I thought a few days ago you said you’d prefer it daily?

REBECCA: I said that then, but I know that’s unrealistic to expect from you.

SAUL: But all things considered, you’d prefer to have sex with me daily, true? But the little bone of contention we have here is that I only want it about once a week, right?

REBECCA: Big bone, very big bone of contention.

SAUL: Okay. So either you have to calm down to my level/needs, or I have to amp up to your level/needs.

REBECCA: And we both know how it is in real life.

SAUL: Well I can’t just artificially fuck you every time you want to get off. For me, that’s death. There’s nothing worse in the world than pretending you want to make love to someone, just because they need the attention or the intimacy or an orgasm.

REBECCA: It’s not just sex.

SAUL: You need. It’s okay. You need, I need, we all need--it’s elemental. It’s okay.

REBECCA: Of course it’s goddamn okay. It’s human, I know. I’m just giving you all the info: I’m sexually frustrated.

SAUL: Me too.

REBECCA: No you’re not.

SAUL: What? Are you saying that because I don’t want sex as often as you, I’m excluded from being sexually frustrated? That’s not how it goes.

REBECCA: It so is how it goes.

SAUL: Well what do you want me to do about it?

REBECCA: There you go again; always asking me what it is that I want from you.

SAUL: Isn’t that what this reduces to, wants? You want something from me, and I can’t give it to you, isn’t that what we’re talking about here, having a conversation about here?

REBECCA: You’re not like most men. All the men I’ve dated have had high sex drives.

SAUL: Welcome to my world. Welcome to Saulville. This is who I am. I can’t change it.

REBECCA: You don’t want to change it.

SAUL: Well actually I could change it. I just don’t want to. You’re right. Also, I could be someone else, but I like who I am.

REBECCA: You could change for me.

SAUL: Even when I was a teenager, I didn’t want sex daily. That’s not me. So why would I want to become someone who’s not me?

REBECCA: For me.

SAUL: For you?

REBECCA: For me.

SAUL: I could do that. But it’d be false. We talked about this. Death--the most horrible thing I can do is give you a tumble just because you want me to.

REBECCA: I can think of worse things.

SAUL: Such as?

REBECCA: Such as not making love to me at all.

SAUL: I make love to you.

REBECCA: You barely even fuck me.

SAUL: But I do.

REBECCA: You’re impossible.

SAUL: This relationship is.